Last night, right after I told my wife that I was going to steak dinner with a friend, she asked a big favor of me.
Earlier, she mentioned that she was going to a play with her friend/boss/co-worker and wouldn't be able to mow the lawn. It had been a while since I had mowed the lawn... last year, I believe. It's not hard, it's just awkward and it's not the easiest lawn to mow, which doesn't make it hard, just not easy.
So of course I said I would, but time wise, I wanted to plan to still make dinner with my friend, not really giving me much time to visit with him if I waited until after work to mow the lawn then racing over to the bar. Or going to the bar, wolfing down dinner and drinks then racing home to mow the lawn before it got dark. This convoluted mess of time mixed in my head for a couple of hours this morning and I finally came up with a resolve.
Go home at lunch and mow the lawn.
The sun was out, I sweated a little and finished the monster task in under an hour. I'm sure I missed a few spots (but not as many as would be missed in the dusk-to-dark hour). Now my mind is free and I can hang out with my friend and enjoy dinner and cocktails without guilt or being rushed.
Which brings me to the subject of this post. There are many times in the last few years where I've had many distractions that have gotten in the way of things I wanted to do. Some of those are requests from my spouse that almost always seem to have that timing that conflicts with other things I want to do. I have no defense for those times I mindlessly surf the web at home and am the least bit productive. Those times are always followed with a "Yes dear" and the task gets completed sooner than later.
But when conflict presents itself, my mind plays out different scenarios of how I can do both the thing I want and the thing my wife wants. That, in of itself, is where a good manager of time can avoid conflict and enjoy life. I am not quite there yet in that Time Manager title, but someday, I hope to be.
It will be a day that I will both enjoy and missing the eventual conflict.
June 27, 2012
June 25, 2012
Vacation Return
Returning back to work after a nine-day vacation is not the easiest thing to do. It's always better when things are busy and not too crazy. Today was one of those days. I appreciate them when I can get them.
The idea of taking a long enough vacation is to go somewhere you haven't before and to also have time to unwind. I was able to accomplish that last week. Another thing I very much appreciate very much.
I was unplugged from the internet a good deal of the time and while I missed tweeting my every move (ok, I'm not that bad), it was nice to get away from the "checking tweets" mode and enjoy where I was (Alaska).
Now it's back to daily life and waiting for the next set of days I can take some time off.
The idea of taking a long enough vacation is to go somewhere you haven't before and to also have time to unwind. I was able to accomplish that last week. Another thing I very much appreciate very much.
I was unplugged from the internet a good deal of the time and while I missed tweeting my every move (ok, I'm not that bad), it was nice to get away from the "checking tweets" mode and enjoy where I was (Alaska).
Now it's back to daily life and waiting for the next set of days I can take some time off.
May 15, 2012
Each Negative That Happens
I've told myself several times in the last year that I've been wanting a change in my life. Going on 27 years in the IT industry, I have found that each time I am tasked with something that has to do with fixing a computer, I cringe or complain or put off the task as long as I can before people start demanding it to be done. Each thing that I see as a negative, it gets me that much closer to pushing myself to changing my situation.
I've reached the point in the last 4 weeks that I really am pushing to leave my job in late September/early October. And not for another IT job. If, for some reason I need to spend one more stint of employment as an IT professional, it will be to pay the bills and just to make a change. But my push is for me to finally get back to where I was in my writing career... happy, excited, challenged and wanting to spend time doing what I like and love to do.
I've reached the point in the last 4 weeks that I really am pushing to leave my job in late September/early October. And not for another IT job. If, for some reason I need to spend one more stint of employment as an IT professional, it will be to pay the bills and just to make a change. But my push is for me to finally get back to where I was in my writing career... happy, excited, challenged and wanting to spend time doing what I like and love to do.
May 9, 2012
Make It More Illegal
Yesterday, North Carolina voters took to the polls to pass an amendment that makes same-sex marriage (and any legal rights for co-habitating heteros) illegal, enshrining discrimination once again in their state constitution (it last happened in 1875 with interracial marriage). But same-sex marriage was already illegal in the state. I'm not sure why they felt they really needed to make it more illegal. Let's take this idiotic idea and extend it to other laws.
Speeding
Going over the speed limit is illegal. So to make it more illegal, why not pass a law that requires all cars to have a GPS-enabled governor so they can never go above the posted speed limit. Speed limit says 35... your car can't go above it, thanks to the newly passed law.
Littering
Most littering (with the exception of water and feathers in California) is illegal. How do we make this more illegal and prevent it from ever happening? Add an RFID chip to each and every paper, cup, bag and potential item of waste so the next time you go to toss it out of your car while cruising down the highway, it comes right back into the vehicle.
Tax Evasion
If you don't pay your taxes, it's considered illegal on the books. But until the IRS tracks you down years later, you get to keep the money longer. Not so if we pass a make it more illegal. You forget to pay, the government just takes it right out of your checking account. Pay everything in cash? The cash dissolves in your wallet and the former paper bill gets electronically deposited to the IRS.
The illogic of these "proposed" laws to make things more illegal is stupid. Yet, that's what the majority of the voters in North Carolina did yesterday. Took something that was already illegal and made sure it really was illegal.
Good thing that state has a history of rewriting it's constitution, for someday years from now, this discrimination will be removed and equality will add another chapter in history.
Speeding
Going over the speed limit is illegal. So to make it more illegal, why not pass a law that requires all cars to have a GPS-enabled governor so they can never go above the posted speed limit. Speed limit says 35... your car can't go above it, thanks to the newly passed law.
Littering
Most littering (with the exception of water and feathers in California) is illegal. How do we make this more illegal and prevent it from ever happening? Add an RFID chip to each and every paper, cup, bag and potential item of waste so the next time you go to toss it out of your car while cruising down the highway, it comes right back into the vehicle.
Tax Evasion
If you don't pay your taxes, it's considered illegal on the books. But until the IRS tracks you down years later, you get to keep the money longer. Not so if we pass a make it more illegal. You forget to pay, the government just takes it right out of your checking account. Pay everything in cash? The cash dissolves in your wallet and the former paper bill gets electronically deposited to the IRS.
The illogic of these "proposed" laws to make things more illegal is stupid. Yet, that's what the majority of the voters in North Carolina did yesterday. Took something that was already illegal and made sure it really was illegal.
Good thing that state has a history of rewriting it's constitution, for someday years from now, this discrimination will be removed and equality will add another chapter in history.
April 25, 2012
Thankless and Resentful
I was reading an article today about being burnt out and how it was a form of resentment. And after reading it, I had to agree.
My burnt out state at my current company is a form of resentment. In the way that I resent how I've been treated in the almost 9 years I've been here.
Twice now at this company, I've been relegated to Desktop Support (my title and main job is Network Admin), which in most companies, is a thankless job. Thankless, because even though there are a good number of people that say "thank you" when you make their computer work again, it's the upper brass that couldn't give two shits about that reliable employee.
The first time, I quit, went to another company for 3 months and then got wooed back into the Borg. Two years ago, they laid off our much appreciated by many desktop guy and it's been going downhill ever since. The last few months have been particularly cruel and undeserving, which lead me to decide to finally set a date to move on and stop the employment abuse.
Carrying this level of resentment has been an albatross and one that I will be happy to get rid of.
Which will also turn that thankless position in for one that is once again appreciated.
My burnt out state at my current company is a form of resentment. In the way that I resent how I've been treated in the almost 9 years I've been here.
Twice now at this company, I've been relegated to Desktop Support (my title and main job is Network Admin), which in most companies, is a thankless job. Thankless, because even though there are a good number of people that say "thank you" when you make their computer work again, it's the upper brass that couldn't give two shits about that reliable employee.
The first time, I quit, went to another company for 3 months and then got wooed back into the Borg. Two years ago, they laid off our much appreciated by many desktop guy and it's been going downhill ever since. The last few months have been particularly cruel and undeserving, which lead me to decide to finally set a date to move on and stop the employment abuse.
Carrying this level of resentment has been an albatross and one that I will be happy to get rid of.
Which will also turn that thankless position in for one that is once again appreciated.
February 10, 2012
Religious Policy Is Ignorance
Today's top news story was the Obama administration bowing to pressure from the Catholic church on the forced coverage of contraception to all businesses. Last time I checked, just about every organized religion is a business with employees, an accounting department and benefits.
Religion has gotten so powerful to cause a change in public policy, yet when someone wants them to change and stop trying to implement laws on a book that is more than 2000 years old, they claim religious discrimination and that we are not respecting their beliefs.
Something is so very wrong with this picture.
The idea that family planning on a modern level cannot be allowed just busts my balls. Oh, my bad. Maybe the busting of ones' balls means no contraception can destroy a human life, that would make these backwards religious leaders pleased as punch.
Seriously, when are we going to grow up as a society and stop letting these supposed leaders control the majority of the citizens - including a growing number that believes in no religion? It might be for a while, but I surely wish it would happen sooner.
And speaking of busted balls, maybe someday we will have a political system that grows a pair and tells these illogical control freaks to stay the fuck out of individual family planning.
Religion has gotten so powerful to cause a change in public policy, yet when someone wants them to change and stop trying to implement laws on a book that is more than 2000 years old, they claim religious discrimination and that we are not respecting their beliefs.
Something is so very wrong with this picture.
The idea that family planning on a modern level cannot be allowed just busts my balls. Oh, my bad. Maybe the busting of ones' balls means no contraception can destroy a human life, that would make these backwards religious leaders pleased as punch.
Seriously, when are we going to grow up as a society and stop letting these supposed leaders control the majority of the citizens - including a growing number that believes in no religion? It might be for a while, but I surely wish it would happen sooner.
And speaking of busted balls, maybe someday we will have a political system that grows a pair and tells these illogical control freaks to stay the fuck out of individual family planning.
February 8, 2012
New Year's Catch Up
To the hundreds of readers I have on this blog, I thought I would post an update since my last post, which was three days before Christmas 2011.
My concerns over Christmas turned out to not be concerns after all. Amazing what growing a set of balls and standing one's ground on their feeling and emotions will do. Christmas day was drama free and I had a nice day with my family.
As for 2012 so far, it's going. I went to CES in Las Vegas and had a great week filled with seeing gadgets and winning gadgets. My wife even had some of her own winning at the slot machines.
I've been pushing myself to get the gym more often. It's a basic gym that costs less than $11 a month and it's close to home. A good feeling that I know is helping me feel better.
Proposition 8 was ruled unconstitutional this week in the state of California. I posted over on my main blog about what this has done for the state since it passed. What gets me is the amount of money and time that is put into this by people this does not affect, yet their impact on the lives of others they don't give two shits about is the end result of denying them the right to marry. Equally puzzling is the Mormon church, who up until 1890, supported a marriage that wasn't "only between a man and a woman." Now they are against any "non-traditional" form of marriage - except of course after they die and can practice polygamy without that pesky government getting involved with their "godly laws." A bit hypocritical, if you ask me.
Last October, I had a physical where the doctor told me my blood sugar was a bit high. He put me on these pills called metFormin, which are used to help control the amount of insulin that my body produces. I need to go get my blood checked again soon to see if they made a difference.
After nine years with the same car, I traded it in for a brand new 2012 Nissan Sentra SR Special Edition. It's my first new car in over 25 years and it feels fucking fantastic (to borrow a line from Lily Allen' "The Fear"). Of course, I enjoyed no car payment (not counting the repair bills I put on my Midas card) for 4 years.
And that's a wrap. Let's see if I can come back here at least once a month with some more words of wisdom (not related to the religion I no longer believe in).
My concerns over Christmas turned out to not be concerns after all. Amazing what growing a set of balls and standing one's ground on their feeling and emotions will do. Christmas day was drama free and I had a nice day with my family.
As for 2012 so far, it's going. I went to CES in Las Vegas and had a great week filled with seeing gadgets and winning gadgets. My wife even had some of her own winning at the slot machines.
I've been pushing myself to get the gym more often. It's a basic gym that costs less than $11 a month and it's close to home. A good feeling that I know is helping me feel better.
Proposition 8 was ruled unconstitutional this week in the state of California. I posted over on my main blog about what this has done for the state since it passed. What gets me is the amount of money and time that is put into this by people this does not affect, yet their impact on the lives of others they don't give two shits about is the end result of denying them the right to marry. Equally puzzling is the Mormon church, who up until 1890, supported a marriage that wasn't "only between a man and a woman." Now they are against any "non-traditional" form of marriage - except of course after they die and can practice polygamy without that pesky government getting involved with their "godly laws." A bit hypocritical, if you ask me.
Last October, I had a physical where the doctor told me my blood sugar was a bit high. He put me on these pills called metFormin, which are used to help control the amount of insulin that my body produces. I need to go get my blood checked again soon to see if they made a difference.
After nine years with the same car, I traded it in for a brand new 2012 Nissan Sentra SR Special Edition. It's my first new car in over 25 years and it feels fucking fantastic (to borrow a line from Lily Allen' "The Fear"). Of course, I enjoyed no car payment (not counting the repair bills I put on my Midas card) for 4 years.
And that's a wrap. Let's see if I can come back here at least once a month with some more words of wisdom (not related to the religion I no longer believe in).
December 22, 2011
Holiday Hum Drum
Since last Christmas, I've really been so-so about the whole holiday season. Not Scrooge like, but more like not really being happy in general.
There are a lot a issues going on in my head, one of which is the dark cloud of unknown that comes between some people in my life. I try to please others before attending to my own desires and needs. Granted, I do a lot and have support from others to do it, without guilt or the permission asking steps that normally need to be taken.
But since the events that took place at the end of October 2010, I've been blah about the holiday season. I'm hoping that the marathon conversation I had the other night with my wife will help to some degree. Guess we'l see what Santa brings on Christmas Day.
There are a lot a issues going on in my head, one of which is the dark cloud of unknown that comes between some people in my life. I try to please others before attending to my own desires and needs. Granted, I do a lot and have support from others to do it, without guilt or the permission asking steps that normally need to be taken.
But since the events that took place at the end of October 2010, I've been blah about the holiday season. I'm hoping that the marathon conversation I had the other night with my wife will help to some degree. Guess we'l see what Santa brings on Christmas Day.
December 6, 2011
Downward Spiral
After a rather lengthy conversation with my wife this past weekend, I have a revelation about myself that I didn't see before. And it's that I have always had an issue with being told what to do. I've known this about myself for sometime now, but the fact that it's been years in the making is what was new to me.
And how much it has affected my life in both good and bad ways. The good is that I'm my own person and tend to still do things, regardless of what others tell me not to do.
The bad is that it's taken it's toll on me accomplishing anything on a regular basis. Sure, I complete projects, but over the last 13 months, I've really let a lot of things slide - day job, exercising, video making, writing, blog posts, helping others... they have all taken a back seat to the mundane process of daily life.
The spiral effect this has caused has been a constant and ongoing frustration for me. It has to stop at some point before it gets worse than it is now. In my own self-diagnosis, it's not a depression. And I do know what's causing it, which is half the battle right there.
Changing how I live my life and how I let others affect me in life is the key to getting out of this downward spiral. And until I decide to act on this change, it's going to be the stale business as usual.
And how much it has affected my life in both good and bad ways. The good is that I'm my own person and tend to still do things, regardless of what others tell me not to do.
The bad is that it's taken it's toll on me accomplishing anything on a regular basis. Sure, I complete projects, but over the last 13 months, I've really let a lot of things slide - day job, exercising, video making, writing, blog posts, helping others... they have all taken a back seat to the mundane process of daily life.
The spiral effect this has caused has been a constant and ongoing frustration for me. It has to stop at some point before it gets worse than it is now. In my own self-diagnosis, it's not a depression. And I do know what's causing it, which is half the battle right there.
Changing how I live my life and how I let others affect me in life is the key to getting out of this downward spiral. And until I decide to act on this change, it's going to be the stale business as usual.
November 17, 2011
Procrastination
One of the main reasons that allow me to go months without posting here is the fact that I've always treated this blog as a secret blog, even though it contains my full name and is not private.
Surely there has been enough that's happened with my life in the exactly four months it's been since I last posted here.
- Of my 4 active blogs, the other blog that's been ignored is Scooter Sunday. Not on purpose, mind you, but just naturally inactive due to the lack of editing of Scooter Sunday episodes.
- The other 2 blogs that are active - Chillywilly.org and Banal Leakage - have remained at their normal pace of postings, with a few days in between posting being part of that normal pace.
- I should also mention another blog I update, where my alias is a LEGO minifig stormtrooper named Cooper... Cooper Trooper. It gets updates less frequently than I plan to.
- I've traveled a lot. Seattle, northern Oregon and Vancouver, WA at the end of July. Vancouver, WA again two weeks later, Irvine, CA a week later for my 30th high school reunion. And Las Vegas and LEGOLand at the end of October. All trips were good, with the exception of my spouse giving her driving instructions, which bothers me on many levels.
- I've been writing fiction, but not without procrastinating a lot. I start a good story, then get busy with something else, come back to it and get it mostly finished. Then wait till the day or two before it's due and scrambling to make final edits.
- Speaking of writing, I joined up to NaNoWriMo to give me some incentive to finish my novel I started in September 2000. I'm still at chapter 3, with chapters 4-30 still in my head.
- As for my day job, the frustrations I deal with there still have not pushed me to a level of wanting to go somewhere else. Perhaps I'm more at ease to let things be, given I have flex time and vacation days still left to burn for 2011. Plus, it's not as stressful as it normally is.
- Daily exercise eludes me most days, with the treadmill now tucked into the corner of the downstairs family room. My wife put it there... honest.. I'm not just dumping on her (only her driving instructions deserve the harsh retort I give her). I just might have to join a gym again to give me some motivation.
Which leads me into the very reason I put things off a lot. It's a matter of managing both my time and my many distractions. When that day finally arrives, except some miraculous results posted to my other blogs. And a nice mention here, of course.
Wish me luck.
Surely there has been enough that's happened with my life in the exactly four months it's been since I last posted here.
- Of my 4 active blogs, the other blog that's been ignored is Scooter Sunday. Not on purpose, mind you, but just naturally inactive due to the lack of editing of Scooter Sunday episodes.
- The other 2 blogs that are active - Chillywilly.org and Banal Leakage - have remained at their normal pace of postings, with a few days in between posting being part of that normal pace.
- I should also mention another blog I update, where my alias is a LEGO minifig stormtrooper named Cooper... Cooper Trooper. It gets updates less frequently than I plan to.
- I've traveled a lot. Seattle, northern Oregon and Vancouver, WA at the end of July. Vancouver, WA again two weeks later, Irvine, CA a week later for my 30th high school reunion. And Las Vegas and LEGOLand at the end of October. All trips were good, with the exception of my spouse giving her driving instructions, which bothers me on many levels.
- I've been writing fiction, but not without procrastinating a lot. I start a good story, then get busy with something else, come back to it and get it mostly finished. Then wait till the day or two before it's due and scrambling to make final edits.
- Speaking of writing, I joined up to NaNoWriMo to give me some incentive to finish my novel I started in September 2000. I'm still at chapter 3, with chapters 4-30 still in my head.
- As for my day job, the frustrations I deal with there still have not pushed me to a level of wanting to go somewhere else. Perhaps I'm more at ease to let things be, given I have flex time and vacation days still left to burn for 2011. Plus, it's not as stressful as it normally is.
- Daily exercise eludes me most days, with the treadmill now tucked into the corner of the downstairs family room. My wife put it there... honest.. I'm not just dumping on her (only her driving instructions deserve the harsh retort I give her). I just might have to join a gym again to give me some motivation.
Which leads me into the very reason I put things off a lot. It's a matter of managing both my time and my many distractions. When that day finally arrives, except some miraculous results posted to my other blogs. And a nice mention here, of course.
Wish me luck.
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