"Hey, can I ask you a computer question?"

It never fails.

I get a call from someone, friend or family.

"Hey... how are you? Do you have a minute... I have this computer issue..."

Ok, I know I've been in the IT industry for over 23 years now. I do know some things. And there's some things I'm willing to help with.

But....

What.The.Fuck.

When you see my name or think of me, is it about asking me why something broke on your computer? I hope not, but it sure seems that way.

I don't hear from some of you for weeks and months, then out of the blue, my caller ID shows you calling me.

It would be nice if you wanted to get together and catch up, have a drink or two and talk about anything other than computer issues.

I deal with computer issues all day at work. There's a really good chance that I don't want to deal with them outside of work. Especially when it comes to Windows issues.

As a Mac guy in my personal life, I'll help people switch from Windows to the Mac. I don't mind that and I'll even spend a bit of time helping here and there. But that also doesn't mean I'm the Mac expert and can bail your ass out each and every time.

I get that you are not an expert either. Which is why you are calling me for help. But are you seriously telling me that you do not know anyone else that's good with computers that can help? Am I the only game in town? I seriously doubt that.

I got to thinking about this and came up with this answer: it's because I always say "YES" to people. I'm the one that's not going to chew your ass out for calling me only when you can't figure your shit out. I'm too nice. I'm convinced that's the problem.

Now, this doesn't mean I don't want to help. Not at all. What I'm saying is that I don't want to be your sole connection to getting your computer back up and running. That's all.

And there needs to be some give and take here. Take... take... take... take... take... that burns someone out pretty damn quick. I'm not expecting money or gifts, although I don't *mind* them [wink]. I do like a thank you, but if there's not a single ounce of sincerety in those two words, then don't say it. It means nothing. It's nothing more than you trying to be nice and expecting me to be cheerful and friendly each time you call wanting me to fix your busted computer.

So what I'm saying here is:

- I will help you, but don't abuse it. Stop calling me everytime you have a problem and you don't care to talk about anything else
- If you are switching to a Mac, then I'll do what I can, but I have a life and want to spend it using my own Mac
- If you are really a good family member or friend and we connect on a level outside of the computer world, then let's make it so that every so often, you call me WITHOUT any computer issues.

Deal?

It is the holiday season, so I may put off my Scrooge attitude and help regardless, but after January, if you are calling my ass for more help, I may not be readily available. That means find someone else to help if you really need free tech support because I'm something my time and energy enjoying the new year.