Loyalty Goes Both Ways

I learned today that a job I applied and interviewed for, went to the other candidate I was up against.

I have no clue who this other candidate is, but obviously he was the better choice for this position.  It was just myself and this other person that made it past the second interviews.  As a constellation prize, I was told that another position will open up in June and that they would like to talk to me at that point.

Also, I get to remain employed at the job I've been at for almost 11 years now.  Which makes me reflect on my time there:

• I have never once traveled with this company even though we have multiple offices
• It's been just shy of 6 years since my last raise
• My last raise was me quitting in October 2007 and coming back in February 2008
• I am no longer challenged by any of my given responsibilities
• My last 3 bonuses have all been half of what they were the previous time
• I do have a lot of flex time, which is nice when I am asked to do things for other people in my life
• I get 5 weeks of vacation and I use up every single hour that I earn. Each and every year

I was hoping that being dedicated (I've not taken a single unscheduled day off for sickness in over two years), coming in when there is an issue (I live 3 miles away, which is 1 mile closer than one co-worker and 20 miles closer than the other co-worker), always having my phone with me to answer it, staying late when needed would somehow be shown in ways other than the occasional "Attaboy".

Instead, I do my best to appreciate a regular paycheck, which I discovered today, is less take home pay than I made 6 years ago when I returned to the company. And employment that I seem to not be in any imminent danger of jeopardizing.

So in six years, I have not moved forward.  I have not stayed stationary.  I have regressed in many ways.  The loyalty I have given these last six years has all been for naught.  Well, it does garner an impressive response to friends, family and job interviews.  Which I label as a positive.  So long as I use that positive to find much more gainful employment at a company that understands loyalty goes both ways.

Yes, folks.  I am making efforts to leave the job I loathe.  Today was just a minor setback in my quest to take my loyalty elsewhere.

Thankless and Resentful

I was reading an article today about being burnt out and how it was a form of resentment.  And after reading it, I had to agree.

My burnt out state at my current company is a form of resentment.  In the way that I resent how I've been treated in the almost 9 years I've been here.

Twice now at this company, I've been relegated to Desktop Support (my title and main job is Network Admin), which in most companies, is a thankless job.  Thankless, because even though there are a good number of people that say "thank you" when you make their computer work again, it's the upper brass that couldn't give two shits about that reliable employee.

The first time, I quit, went to another company for 3 months and then got wooed back into the Borg.  Two years ago, they laid off our much appreciated by many desktop guy and it's been going downhill ever since.  The last few months have been particularly cruel and undeserving, which lead me to decide to finally set a date to move on and stop the employment abuse.

Carrying this level of resentment has been an albatross and one that I will be happy to get rid of.

Which will also turn that thankless position in for one that is once again appreciated.