14 Years

I didnt post much out here this year. Which means I didn't complain much. Even though I had a lot to complain about.

No, I want to end 2013 on this particular blog on a mostly positive note.

For the previous 14 years, my daughter spent every Christmas Eve with my ex-wife and her family. There was no "every other year" schedule like some divorced parents handle things.  I simply wasn't given the option. But this year, my ex-wife decided to make changes in her life, which didn't include my daughter.  And like every single year of her life since the divorce, I was there for my daughter, who I did get to spend not just Christmas Eve with, but a good 4 months living in the same house, until she moved out on her own for the first time in her life.

A major postive change and moving forward.  Yet, making her papa proud and happy.  And elated I was.  A bit emotional on Christmas morning as well, as I was able to wake up with my daughter in the same house in that same 14 years absense.

On this same Christmas Eve night, another event 14 years in the making was the marriage of my step-daughter's father and his partner, thanks to the current legalizing of same-sex marriage in Utah.  It was a joyous moment amongst family and one that I was very happy to share in the good news reveal.

Aside from traveling and turning 50, I didn't feel much positive and progress happened for me in 2013.  But given how Christmas Eve turned out, it ended with greatness and giving me a boost of hope that 2014 will be a much better year.

Changes Hard

aka Change Is Hard

I turned 50 almost a month ago.  It really wasn't that big of a deal.  I had a nice party with lots of friends and booze and enjoyed myself.  Of course, that party happened 3 days before I hit the big 5-0, but still had a good time.

But turning 50 also brings up new concerns.  I've been at the job I'm not fond of for over 10 years now.  It's evident that I will celebrate 11 years in this comfortably unhappy place of employment.  Unless I want to change.  Which I do.  I don't enjoy bitching about this place.  It's fodder for the bar and former co-workers.  It drains my emotions and time and distracts me from making a change.

Which is what the goal of writing all of this is supposed to do...  incite change.  Change is hard.  Changes are difficult.  They need to happen, but the comfortable state is settling for the easy way.

There are plans in the works for change.  Perhaps a move to California.  At the very least, deciding what best to do for income.  Because when I look towards 11 years and turning 51 in 11 months, I want to look back and see a change.  Not just another similar entry taking about change.