The Start and The End

It appears this will only be my second blog post here for 2014.  I don't think that's a bad thing, considering the topics I post out here are mostly bitching and ranting about things in my life.  And I've not flooded my main blog with too many details of my struggles with distractions.

Let's just say that I am really wanting and will make an effort for 2015 to be a year where any posts here will be praise for what happened.

It's been an interesting year, based solely off my first post, where I applied for a job but didn't get it and have been stuck at my current job since.  There was always a hope to leave.  I had a couple of phone interviews and one in person.  I realized I am not prepared for an enterprise IT job, at least on a Goldman Sachs level.  Nothing like knowing you blew a 2 hour interview 35 mins into it.  Learning experience, that's what it's called.

Stuck is an interesting verb to use to explain a situation that's almost entirely in my control.  Yes, I applied for jobs this year, but I could have pushed harder.  It's most certainly not because I don't want a new job, which I most sorely need for 2015 to be a better success story than 2014 was.  I had several job opportunities presented to me, but either I applied and wasn't qualified or I spent too much time pontificating over the position and my confidence level that I never applied.  Yes, you read that right.

One of the first courses of action while looking for a professional counselor that understands where I am at is to push for a new job.  In fact, I'm making it a goal for January to find something.  I feel I have overstayed my welcome here and need this change more than anything to help me get out of my comfortably unhappy state and take that first risk into changing.

Let's see what my next post out here will say.  Hope it's a step in the right direction towards gaining a positive foothold back into my life.

14 Years

I didnt post much out here this year. Which means I didn't complain much. Even though I had a lot to complain about.

No, I want to end 2013 on this particular blog on a mostly positive note.

For the previous 14 years, my daughter spent every Christmas Eve with my ex-wife and her family. There was no "every other year" schedule like some divorced parents handle things.  I simply wasn't given the option. But this year, my ex-wife decided to make changes in her life, which didn't include my daughter.  And like every single year of her life since the divorce, I was there for my daughter, who I did get to spend not just Christmas Eve with, but a good 4 months living in the same house, until she moved out on her own for the first time in her life.

A major postive change and moving forward.  Yet, making her papa proud and happy.  And elated I was.  A bit emotional on Christmas morning as well, as I was able to wake up with my daughter in the same house in that same 14 years absense.

On this same Christmas Eve night, another event 14 years in the making was the marriage of my step-daughter's father and his partner, thanks to the current legalizing of same-sex marriage in Utah.  It was a joyous moment amongst family and one that I was very happy to share in the good news reveal.

Aside from traveling and turning 50, I didn't feel much positive and progress happened for me in 2013.  But given how Christmas Eve turned out, it ended with greatness and giving me a boost of hope that 2014 will be a much better year.