Losing Someone You've Never Met

Everyday people pass on. Hundreds, if not thousands in the world die on a regular basis. This isn't some sort of war or plague or flu. It's the process of life. It starts and it ends.

This last weekend, an online acquaintance passed away, which was a shock to many of us. I had never met this person, although I had many conversations with her on film and other aspects of life that were discussed on a regular basis on the film forum we both belonged to. It's a tightly knit community that has been going on for many years now. I've been a member for more than five years now.

One of the other forum members lives close to this person and has regular communication with her. His grief was expected since he had actually known her in person. But to those of us that had never met her, the grief and shock was different. Much different. But yet, we all still feel a sense of loss.

My thoughts immediately went to a place of questioning. How well did we know this person? We saw her online persona come out and I'm sure a lot of her personality shone through those posts on movies, TV shows, politics and various life topics. But people are known for hiding their real self behind an avatar, a nickname or a quirky username. And with that veil, they can be a different person for their online communicating.

I seriously doubt someone like Nancy would be that much different. She was in her mid 50's and was very honest in her replies. Not that should be the end all to judge someone that you've never met before, but for those of us that's all we have to go on. We've never had the chance to read the other person's body language, their facial expressions and hear their actual voice. So we take that person at face value, however that translates to a post of words on a web site.

But after hearing the news she had died, I wondered how different I would feel if I had actually met her. I've met online people before and there is a different kind of rapport that gets communicated that you don't feel online. You know the person, but now that you've met in person, you can actually say you know this person.

Yet, there is always something there that not everyone sees, online or in person. Some say it's the soul. Others say it's just a case of common humanity that you see in someone else. I think most people have a general respect for one another and regardless if you've hung out for years or just have seen their name pop up online, you want to not only treat that person with the same respect you would want to be treated with, but part of their real self escapes outside their carbon footprint.

And that's the bond that you share. And the one that feels empty when someone expires. For some it may be stronger, others it may be a temporary sense of loss. But it is loss, none the less. And each time you see that person's name or avatar, you think back to the conversations you had and a small bit of reflecting takes hold and reminds you and that in person or online, humankind makes itself known to those that care to recognize it.