Attached Or Attachment

This has been one of those topics that has been going on in my head for some time now.

It appears to be some type of message or encoded verbiage that needs to find it's way into my thought process.

It has to do with relationships.

I've never felt I was relationship material. I've been married (first time for 13 years), single many times and now married again (almost 3 years now). I've been enamored with many females that have made me gaga, giddy and act like a lost little child in a shopping mall.  I've done silly things to try to win over some that maybe were interested in me during a night at the bar, but at the end of the evening, they preferred that was the end of me talking to them. Not because I was a dick or an asshole, but because I fawned over them more than they were expecting.  The only smothering they were looking for was ketchup on their fries at the diner.  They saw and talked to a great guy for the night.  I, on the other hand, was more interested in something long term, not willing to give them any breathing room.

It took several of these one night nonsense nod-offs for me to realize I needed to back off and let time take it's course.

I give, but rarely take, which is most likely one of the reasons I think I'm not meant to be in a relationship.  I get to a point where I want to take, but I've given so much, it's now expected. And any sort of trying to tip the balance has the other party wondering where the attention on them went.

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy having a stable partner and being in a stable relationship, but at the end of it all, it's just the main differences between the sexes that causes me to wonder why I bother.

So until that day comes again where I find my left ring finger empty, I give and try and make it all work as best as I can, sneaking in some "me time" when feasible.