It's Just Marty

Holiday Hum Drum

2011-12-22T21:41:00.001-07:00

Since last Christmas, I've really been so-so about the whole holiday season. Not Scrooge like, but more like not really being happy in general.

There are a lot a issues going on in my head, one of which is the dark cloud of unknown that comes between some people in my life. I try to please others before attending to my own desires and needs. Granted, I do a lot and have support from others to do it, without guilt or the permission asking steps that normally need to be taken.

But since the events that took place at the end of October 2010, I've been blah about the holiday season. I'm hoping that the marathon conversation I had the other night with my wife will help to some degree. Guess we'l see what Santa brings on Christmas Day.

Downward Spiral

2011-12-06T09:10:00.001-07:00

After a rather lengthy conversation with my wife this past weekend, I have a revelation about myself that I didn't see before. And it's that I have always had an issue with being told what to do. I've known this about myself for sometime now, but the fact that it's been years in the making is what was new to me.

And how much it has affected my life in both good and bad ways. The good is that I'm my own person and tend to still do things, regardless of what others tell me not to do.

The bad is that it's taken it's toll on me accomplishing anything on a regular basis. Sure, I complete projects, but over the last 13 months, I've really let a lot of things slide - day job, exercising, video making, writing, blog posts, helping others... they have all taken a back seat to the mundane process of daily life.

The spiral effect this has caused has been a constant and ongoing frustration for me. It has to stop at some point before it gets worse than it is now. In my own self-diagnosis, it's not a depression. And I do know what's causing it, which is half the battle right there.

Changing how I live my life and how I let others affect me in life is the key to getting out of this downward spiral. And until I decide to act on this change, it's going to be the stale business as usual.

Procrastination

2011-11-17T13:19:00.001-07:00

One of the main reasons that allow me to go months without posting here is the fact that I've always treated this blog as a secret blog, even though it contains my full name and is not private.

Surely there has been enough that's happened with my life in the exactly four months it's been since I last posted here.

- Of my 4 active blogs, the other blog that's been ignored is Scooter Sunday. Not on purpose, mind you, but just naturally inactive due to the lack of editing of Scooter Sunday episodes.

- The other 2 blogs that are active - Chillywilly.org and Banal Leakage - have remained at their normal pace of postings, with a few days in between posting being part of that normal pace.

- I should also mention another blog I update, where my alias is a LEGO minifig stormtrooper named Cooper... Cooper Trooper. It gets updates less frequently than I plan to.

- I've traveled a lot. Seattle, northern Oregon and Vancouver, WA at the end of July. Vancouver, WA again two weeks later, Irvine, CA a week later for my 30th high school reunion. And Las Vegas and LEGOLand at the end of October. All trips were good, with the exception of my spouse giving her driving instructions, which bothers me on many levels.

- I've been writing fiction, but not without procrastinating a lot. I start a good story, then get busy with something else, come back to it and get it mostly finished. Then wait till the day or two before it's due and scrambling to make final edits.

- Speaking of writing, I joined up to NaNoWriMo to give me some incentive to finish my novel I started in September 2000. I'm still at chapter 3, with chapters 4-30 still in my head.

- As for my day job, the frustrations I deal with there still have not pushed me to a level of wanting to go somewhere else. Perhaps I'm more at ease to let things be, given I have flex time and vacation days still left to burn for 2011. Plus, it's not as stressful as it normally is.

- Daily exercise eludes me most days, with the treadmill now tucked into the corner of the downstairs family room. My wife put it there... honest.. I'm not just dumping on her (only her driving instructions deserve the harsh retort I give her). I just might have to join a gym again to give me some motivation.

Which leads me into the very reason I put things off a lot. It's a matter of managing both my time and my many distractions. When that day finally arrives, except some miraculous results posted to my other blogs. And a nice mention here, of course.

Wish me luck.

Trying Too Hard - Part 1

2011-07-17T13:28:00.002-06:00

There are times when I try hard to please others. Sometimes, well ok, most of the time (90%), I concentrate so much on making sure I make others happy that I miss the obvious. I happen to do this more often then I think I do, which leads to discussions from others when I forgot to say the simple thing that would continue the happiness.

Instead, that bump in the road instantly turns me into blaming myself and treating it as a fuck up. This then spirals into another distraction that takes me away from doing what I want to do, which is making progress on my personal video and writing projects.

The easy solution is to simply make a note of what needs to be said to others when certain trigger moments happen. Not too often and more often than it happens now. A balance, if you will.

Searching deeper on how I remind myself will be Part 2. For now, it's more about refocusing back to my projects.

Attached Or Attachment

2011-06-01T15:55:00.002-06:00

This has been one of those topics that has been going on in my head for some time now.

It appears to be some type of message or encoded verbiage that needs to find it's way into my thought process.

It has to do with relationships.

I've never felt I was relationship material. I've been married (first time for 13 years), single many times and now married again (almost 3 years now). I've been enamored with many females that have made me gaga, giddy and act like a lost little child in a shopping mall. I've done silly things to try to win over some that maybe were interested in me during a night at the bar, but at the end of the evening, they preferred that was the end of me talking to them. Not because I was a dick or an asshole, but because I fawned over them more than they were expecting. The only smothering they were looking for was ketchup on their fries at the diner. They saw and talked to a great guy for the night. I, on the other hand, was more interested in something long term, not willing to give them any breathing room.

It took several of these one night nonsense nod-offs for me to realize I needed to back off and let time take it's course.

I give, but rarely take, which is most likely one of the reasons I think I'm not meant to be in a relationship. I get to a point where I want to take, but I've given so much, it's now expected. And any sort of trying to tip the balance has the other party wondering where the attention on them went.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy having a stable partner and being in a stable relationship, but at the end of it all, it's just the main differences between the sexes that causes me to wonder why I bother.

So until that day comes again where I find my left ring finger empty, I give and try and make it all work as best as I can, sneaking in some "me time" when feasible.

4/20 at 4:20

2011-04-20T10:58:00.000-06:00

Back in my teen years, I smoked a lot of weed. From the first month of my freshman year in high school, I was introduced to marijuana and several people I called friends and we stood under the bleachers and inhaled the pot to get through our school day.

Now more than 30 years later, I can't recall the last time I smoked a bowl. Seriously. That's not just my brain forgetting from the effects of smoking too much weed. The last I remember was Christmas eve 2008, which was well over 2 years ago.

I was even offered some before a concert last year and faked taking a hit. WTF is that all about? My teenage self would be calling me a dated old man.

But today, it's just not something I'm into anymore. Not that I won't partake any time in the future. I'm sure there's a bowl of ganga waiting for me to inhale, but not sure when.

But if weed is your regular thing and you want to celebrate on this self-appointed day of pot smoking, then I give my best Cheech and Chong thumbs up. Because regardless of anyone's feelings, attitude or personal decisions, pot should be legal and enjoyed by anyone responsible enough to use the awesome herb.

Smoke em if you got em.

Freedom Envy

2011-04-02T12:19:00.000-06:00

Recently, a blogger that I read and follow posted how she changed her life to be able to be free to travel. I read this post - not with excitement - but with envy.

You see, I was once working towards this goal. It was back in 1994 and I had many things in place to make it happen. Leave the corporate world behind and work on building my own business of IT consulting and freelance writing. I got close... really close, but something happened that took my focus away from it.

So each time I read of someone else making this happen, I look back and wonder why I didn't continue to pursue this. And I think about how I can make it happen again today.

This is my goal in life. Someday, I will reach it. But not without looking back a few times a year and wondering why I didn't make it happen sooner.

Untouchable

2011-02-23T15:07:00.002-07:00

Part of me wants to be an executive. The part that can make mistakes and still keep your job or at least land on your feet with a nice exit package.

You are able to make decisions that cost the company money, putting that spin on it that makes it look like you are doing something positive. For example, let's say you had your hand in migrating from one system to another. The newer system is highly inferior than the one that's already in place. Two years into the migration, things are not going so well. A few million has been spent on software, hardware and consulting fees to the person that sold the idea as "awesome". Now, the whole company is "excited" about the transition from this newer system back to the system that was already in place and it's billed as a "success" that we are making progress. That is, if you deem progress as costing a few million, a couple of years of wasted time and endless amounts of extra hours that everyone except aforementioned higher up and his consultant have put in to make things right.

Meanwhile, those of us on the lower end of the organization chart, forget one minor configuration when rebuilding a computer - one that takes a few minutes to correct - and are chastised because of it.

Something seems a bit off balance here. Way off balance.

I'll continue to pursue my efforts to be the other part.

Liberal Ruse

2011-02-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

So I learned this week that the whole "birther" movement was created by liberals in order to mask and distract from the real issue, which is that President Obama is not, nor has he been, eligible to be president.

I guess that's right. I mean, why else would reasonable liberals be fighting the conservative movement to keep things like a woman's right to choice, lower taxes and a cleaner environment? They had to elect an ineligible leader to make it all happen. A conspiracy in the making since August 1961.

Never mind that valid copies of the birth certificate have been produced. Disregard the fact that there have been others that have run for president that were not born on actual US soil (McCain is the most recent I can think of, born in Panama) who were never questioned about the authenticity of their birth certificate.

It seems us liberals are just making up shit as we go along, blaming it all on the conservatives and making us out to be the good guys. It looks like the gig is up. We've been found out.

So I guess when I run for office, I need to make sure I don't reveal that I was born in the back of a VW bus on the outer parts of Jakarta. I just need to make sure I keep that faked birth certificate that shows I was born in California ready to unleash on the interwebs.

Blame, Shame and The Same

2011-01-10T18:00:00.003-07:00

One of the heated arguments that has come out of the Tuscon, AZ tragedy is what caused the shooter to take action. Lots of fingers being pointed at all sorts of people and areas. The former governor of Alaska is taking a large amount of the brunt from a poster that was drafted up almost a year ago.

It depicts cross hairs on certain parts of the country where tea party candidates for congress were expected to take over. As we learned in November's election, 18 of the 20 House seats were won by the Tea Party. Since the Rep. Giffords shooting on Saturday, this map has been a hot bed of fervor. People blaming Palin for placing a target that represents a gun sights on various candidates, Gabrielle Giffords included.

As it turns out, a lot of politicians, political groups and organizations have used these symbols before. Click the following link to see a well researched post (by an ultra conservative blogger) that was done in March 2010:

Gun Symbols and Verbiage on Maps and Posters

So blame cannot be placed onto one individual, even if you don't like that person or what they stand for - even if the connection hits too close to home - it's been done by others on all sides of the political collective.

Over on my main blog, I talked about needing to reduce that negative and dividing rhetoric that is part of our society today. While I still hold to that and really want to see people tone it the fuck down and be civil and work together, I don't think the blame rests with these posters that use firearm symbols and terminology. Do I detest their use in their rant against politicians? I most certainly do. Do we need to pass a law that says not to use them? Hell no. I simply want reasonable people to think clearly with their words, actions and campaign posters before making their message public.

Because even though the shooter may not have been fueled by such messages and terminology, it can sometimes be all too real in the the here and now.

All Is Quiet On New Year's Day

2011-01-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well, that really wasn't true for me. You see, I was at a party with about 20 others, having many adult beverages. But sometime around 2am, it became quiet once my head hit the pillow.

Seems the proper way to ring in the new year is to cheer, shout and clap - putting the drink down for that brief moment of celebration - and then say your thanks and goodbyes to the host of the party.

As we get older, we tend to shorten our celebrations. Once a year is fine. A birthday is another occasion, but is almost always a quieter affair than the stroke of midnight on Jan 1st.

But cheer and joy and laughter, regardless of the time of the year, should never be silenced. There should always be something to smile about in your life.

And that's the general idea of what I want to make happen in 2011. So when the clock hits 11:59pm on Dec. 31, 2011, I want to have more cheers and not so many tears.

Leader of the Banned

2010-11-11T11:45:00.001-07:00

It seems there will always be something that someone wants banned. Be it a book or a food product or an alcoholic beverage.

I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. While I can understand someone's outrage, it seems there are other solutions that are more logical and sound.

Like not buying the book. Or not purchasing that Happy Meal for your kid. Or not drinking that caffeine-induced malt beverage.

It's official. We've replaced personal responsibility with letting others make the decision for you.

Congratulations whiners, complainers, protestors and boycotters. You got your wish.

Welcome to the 21st Century. It's much different than I expected it would be.

I Am A Minority

2010-10-07T10:50:00.000-06:00

I'm white, but not Christian

I'm a Utah resident, but not Rebulican

I dispose of my trash, but also recycle

I stand in long lines at the store, but don't become irate over it

I go out shopping, but hold the door open for others behind me

I respect all religions, but I am not religious

I work on Windows systems all day, but use a Mac for personal use

I am amazed at all that children offer, but I am the proud father of just one

I love a good bowl of ice cream, but don't eat the entire half gallon in one sitting

I appreciate all that this world has to offer, but don't believe there was a single creator

I enjoyed the movie Titanic, but didn't think it was all that great

I love lots of TV shows, just not those that are labeled "reality"

I enjoy a nice candy treat, but it's rarely chocolate

I'm a straight male, but support rights for all without bias of sexual gender

Protecting Choice

2010-08-08T17:02:00.000-06:00

This last week's news of a federal judge overturning Proposition 8 in California, brought out both supporters of, and those against, same-sex marriage. Most of these people are against same-sex marriage for pretty much three reasons: it's morally wrong, God says no and it's a choice.

While the first two are normally positions that are taken by ultra religious people, the last excuse is easily debatable. Supported positions against gay marriage normally echo such statements like "it's their choice" and "they are welcome to marry a person of the opposite sex."

Yet, when thinking about other forms of choice that are protected under law, religion seems to come up as a large and glaring omission in their arguments.

While we can argue about being forced into religion by family, it's still our individual choice to belong to an organized religion. It's also our choice to believe in Jesus, God, Satan, Allah, Buddha, a golden calf or nothing at all.

Yet, religion and belief is a protected status in the eyes of our government.

So here's my question to those against same-sex marriage because they feel being gay is a choice: why should your choice of what religion you belong to be protected?

Of course, for me personally, I do not believe that being gay is a choice. People are born gay and science and other studies have pretty much concluded that sexual orientation is not a choice. But for the sake of argument here, I'll let others believe it's a choice, hoping for some thought-provoking honesty in their hypercritical view of the rights of others.

Resistence Is Futile

2010-02-03T21:49:00.000-07:00

Over on my other blog, I wrote a post talking about the upcoming Superbowl ad that was paid for by Focus on the Family, on behalf of Heisman Trophy winner, Tim Tebow.

Part of his conservative allure is that he is a virgin, waiting to have sex until marriage. Now there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I was a virgin when I married, so I can't be throwing stones around at others. But for me it was easy. I wasn't famous and well known. For Tim, this is bit harder. He's in the press, he's a sports jock, he attracts all sorts of people, including some very attractive females, as evidenced below:

Image from the following article on The Big Lead

I need to clarify myself here. I'm not implying that just because you have a pretty young female that you are spending time with that it's expected to bed her. But from a public persona, being seen with such an attractive woman, the implied notion that you are bed partners will run through most people's minds, mine included.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let me make my point here. He's a virile young man, attractive himself and he's talented. While saving himself for marriage is admirable [and most likely marketable for him as far as the press is concerned], the theory of it is completely out the window. At best, he's going home and rubbing one out after each date with someone like her. Again, if it were me in that position and holding onto this abstinence pledge of his, Some kind of sex is going to happen.

So my point is this: Mr. Heisman can say whatever will satisfy his belief system. He doesn't have to be Slutmaster Jack on the town. He can still be a gentleman and able to wake up with a smile on his face. But if these women he's with are not satisfied [or being satisfied, as the case may be], he's going to look like he's a player off the field. And having that image along with wearing the chastity belt, he's going to come off [and get off, privately] as looking like last year's model.

C'mon Tim. There's some of us that will support you if you decide to do more than dance.

Trust or Fear

2010-01-13T21:58:00.017-07:00

Today was an odd day at work. Well, most days are filled some sort of oddness, but there was an odd thing that happened today. And it's happened before, but more about that later.

I work in a formal IT department. There are three of us that are considered system or network administrators. My official title is Network Admin.

My responsibilities include the management of our company-wide email system, main FTP server and helping with maintaining our server farm. I've been there almost seven years and have been working in IT almost 25 years.

Today, a call came in where one of my co-workers was asked to take care of a computer issue in one of our east coast offices. This co-worker then recruited the help of the other admin.

While trying various options, they asked for my help. I immediately offered and asked what the situation was. I was told that they needed to get some data off of a computer. I then asked what computer this was.

This is where the odd part comes in.

I was told by the first co-worker that they were told to keep it confidential and not tell anyone else.

Huh?

Puzzled, but recalling a similar situation happening several times before with the "keep it confidential", I tested a solution on another computer and offered it up to my other co-workers.

Confused

Now I understand certain topics and subjects that need to remain confidential. I've not spent the amount of time I have managing people's data and sensitive needs over the years without knowing how to be professional and ethical in all of my dealings at any company I've worked at.

But when you are in a close knit group of people - a team - you learn to trust each other when dealing with sensitive subjects.

All of us are admins. We all have identical rights on the entire network to manage, disable, grant rights and take care of needs from our upper management when asked.
But for some reason, my co-worker seems to think that when there is a general user that they are told to keep confident about, that means not to share that information with your other co-workers, especially when you are asking that person for specific help.

Granted, this co-worker did share the information with the other co-worker, mostly due to the fact that this co-worker needed additional help. But when my additional help was needed, lips were sealed on any details.

Why does this bother me so much?

Mostly it's due to the fact that we are a team. We all work together in the same area. When a bit of company-related information of a sensitive nature (ie. layoffs, terminations) needs to be completed, I would hope that all of us could trust each other and be confident that we are all professionals and will keep this information to ourselves. I've shared such information before when told to keep it confidential. Why? Because I trust that my other co-workers are just as ethical and professional as I am.

And that's what bothers me the most. It's the lack of any logical or reciprocal thought when a situation comes up like this.

And when it happens again, I fear that I may be just as jilted and just as silent.
Trust and fear. Two bed fellows that often accompany work-related issues.

Monday's Question

2009-09-07T11:08:00.009-06:00

With all of the discussion and debate over the proposed universal health care, a question came up that I would like to pose.

Question

How many of the people that are protesting at these town hall meetings are currently not covered by any health care plan?

And not just the ones lacking insurance coverage, but also how many of them that are needing some sort of care - covered or not - and are not able to get the care they need.

There are millions of people that live each day without any kind of health care coverage. There are millions of others that are covered but have lackluster care or get denied based on some insurance companies definition of what is considered a pre-existing condition. Young, healthy, elderly, sick, diseased... people of all stages in life need to maintain their health. Sometimes it can be as simple as eating right and exercising often. For others, it's a constant string of visits to the doctor. But regardless, just about every man, woman and child visits a doctor at least once in their lifetime - even if that single time is when they are born. The health care of our citizens shouldn't be taken for granted.

I found this video of a recent protest at a town hall meeting. The footage was great, but I was shocked at what I heard. View for yourself:

I watch a video like that and it makes me wonder how informed these people are. Are they getting their news from a limited few like Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh? Or have they been so fear driven into thinking that Obama is channeling Hitler and going to send them all into the gas chambers?

Not a single one of them mentioned a valid option for caring for the uninsured or those denied needed care. Each and every one of them were more concerned about the fear of what this country would turn into if national health care were to become available.
And they talk about waiting for weeks for health care under a government run plan. We wait now. Look at the list of people that wait for weeks for a procedure while combating insurance companies to cover something that is so obviously needed. Having another option would be a benefit.

But yet I see two major "socialist" government programs that have been in place for many years and I haven't seen a socialist takeover from their implementation. They are Social Security and Medicare. Both are tax-payer funded. Both offer care to those that are retired or unable to work. Both have been able to extend the lives of millions of Americans for many years.

And I can't help but think how many of these vocal individuals are proclaiming this takeover have benefited from Social Security or Medicare. I'm willing to bet a good amount of them have. Yet, this most recent "universal health care" proposal is "socialism" and "will be the downfall of this country." Um, Ok.

My Position

So what's my position on this? I'll go out on a comfortable limb and say that most, if not all of the people at these protests are already covered by some form of health care plan. Or Medicare. Or they don't get sick and are one of the rare group of humans that don't need pills or regular doctor visits to remain healthy.

So let's hear how you feel about this question. How many people protesting are without proper or any health care coverage? If there are some there and they are just as vocal, why do you think they are protesting?

Losing Someone You've Never Met

2009-05-04T15:00:00.016-06:00

Everyday people pass on. Hundreds, if not thousands in the world die on a regular basis. This isn't some sort of war or plague or flu. It's the process of life. It starts and it ends.

This last weekend, an online acquaintance passed away, which was a shock to many of us. I had never met this person, although I had many conversations with her on film and other aspects of life that were discussed on a regular basis on the film forum we both belonged to. It's a tightly knit community that has been going on for many years now. I've been a member for more than five years now.

One of the other forum members lives close to this person and has regular communication with her. His grief was expected since he had actually known her in person. But to those of us that had never met her, the grief and shock was different. Much different. But yet, we all still feel a sense of loss.

My thoughts immediately went to a place of questioning. How well did we know this person? We saw her online persona come out and I'm sure a lot of her personality shone through those posts on movies, TV shows, politics and various life topics. But people are known for hiding their real self behind an avatar, a nickname or a quirky username. And with that veil, they can be a different person for their online communicating.

I seriously doubt someone like Nancy would be that much different. She was in her mid 50's and was very honest in her replies. Not that should be the end all to judge someone that you've never met before, but for those of us that's all we have to go on. We've never had the chance to read the other person's body language, their facial expressions and hear their actual voice. So we take that person at face value, however that translates to a post of words on a web site.

But after hearing the news she had died, I wondered how different I would feel if I had actually met her. I've met online people before and there is a different kind of rapport that gets communicated that you don't feel online. You know the person, but now that you've met in person, you can actually say you know this person.

Yet, there is always something there that not everyone sees, online or in person. Some say it's the soul. Others say it's just a case of common humanity that you see in someone else. I think most people have a general respect for one another and regardless if you've hung out for years or just have seen their name pop up online, you want to not only treat that person with the same respect you would want to be treated with, but part of their real self escapes outside their carbon footprint.

And that's the bond that you share. And the one that feels empty when someone expires. For some it may be stronger, others it may be a temporary sense of loss. But it is loss, none the less. And each time you see that person's name or avatar, you think back to the conversations you had and a small bit of reflecting takes hold and reminds you and that in person or online, humankind makes itself known to those that care to recognize it.

Drive-By Revelation

2009-03-13T01:45:00.010-06:00

There are some things that you didn't expect that become the unexpected.

For me, it happened this week.

It wasn't some big event, but it was ego bruising. And one that I wasn't ready for.

I'm a very social person. I like to connect to people on different levels. Even if that person I am trying to connect with doesn't have any instant connection, I try to find one. Kind of like an accommodation, but mostly me trying to find a topic I can join in lively conversation with.

Well, it seems with some people, I have an annoying side. Or at least that's what I was informed of.

Actually, I was informed there are TWO annoying things about me. Here's the first one.

1. I don't know when to stop when discussing a topic of interest. I like to continue the conversation past the point of the initial topical discussion.

It happened today, at least that's what I was made aware of by another party [my wife].

The conversation was talking about Simpsons episodes. I wanted to participate, so I brought up part of the episode where Homer gets a helper monkey named Mojo. It's a funny episode and I like to quote lines from it. One of the people in the conversation had previously that same day showed me a clip of the episode where they do the Planet of the Apes theater recreation [another equally funny episode].

So I thought, "hey, I'm a big fan of the Simpsons" and threw my trivial intellect into the ring.

If only I would have stopped at "Pray for Mojo"

I continued with my ever-flowing dialogue of the episode.

There was the silence, which I completely missed, until my wife tapped me on the arm.

That was my cue to SHUT THE FUCK UP, which I did.

Tuck that one into the part of my brain that acts like a flash drive with reference points attached that will clue me in to future conversations with said persons.

And here's the other annoying revelation.

2. When I travel, I like to read signs. If I'm by myself, I sometimes read them to myself. If there are others in the car, I sometimes read them out loud. It helps me take a mental reference to places and locations so that if I ever got lost in a city I've not been to before, I can find my way back to the hotel. Plus, it's my social side wanting to share what I'm seeing.

I've recently been informed this is most annoying to some people. And I can certainly see how this would come across as bothersome. To some, it may say, "Hello... fuck tard, I know how to read a sign!" To others, it may come out as just plain, "I really don't need to hear you narrate your every point of self-navigations."

Up until this point in time, none of the people this bothered had said a single word to me about this. Maybe they are just being nice. Maybe they are trying to not hurt my feelings. Regardless, it was said to someone, who then informed another person [again, my wife], who then relayed this revelation to me.

Once again, I take this one to another spot in my physical flash drive and note another point of conversational reference.

So is this really what going through life is all about? Remembering dumb shit that bothers other people, so when you are around these people that are bothered by what you do, you take extra efforts to reduce or go silent on the things they are bothered by?

I certainly hope not. That's a lot to keep track of. I have too many other important things in life to keep track of already.

But at the same time, I really don't want to blanket cover every social liberty to everyone I meet. It's personalizing that social relationship with each person you know that helps create a bond.

Which brings up the bigger question: If there are things that someone else does that annoy me, how do I react? Am I just as bothered as some are with me when another person does something that is bothersome? How blunt and honest should one be?

All of these questions I ask myself in a self-evaluative sort of way when I find myself in said annoyed circumstances.

I believe I'm pretty tolerant with others. And of course, I would like others to have the same self-tolerance with me. If that means being honest and verbally discussing something direct to the other party, then that's the best "get it all out in the open" resolve to correcting one's self, even if it's not the most friendly mode of relay.

So am I off base here? Am I reading more into this on the method of social corrections amongst responsible adults? Or am I justified in how I feel, dejected feelings and all?

And what about the other party? What actions are they required to meet? Do they "pass the buck," breaking the ego-deflating news to another member of the affected party?

These are all just answers in the game of trying to figure out another member of the human race.

Because I'd like know an easier solution if one exists.

Tightening The Screws

2009-02-16T13:53:00.005-07:00

Or I could call this post "Getting Screwed Tighter"

No, this is not a sexually-themed post. That would be too enjoyable.

I'm talking about how the many companies out there are doing their best to screw their customers.

Airlines, credit card companies, banks - you name a place, they are doing their best to find any way to get that extra dime out of you.

Take the airlines. Just less than two years ago, there was no extra cost to check a single bag on your flight. Now almost every single US-based airline charges at least $15 for the first bag (some as much as $50 for the first bag). I could almost understand a charge for a second bag, but for the first? No wonder why people are trying to travel lighter or using the carry-on method. I'm heading to Hawaii in a few weeks and I don't plan on taking more than one checked bag (I've got my laptop bag and a small carry-on that I'm taking).

I understand the gas costs went up and that more weight on a plane means the plane gets less mileage. But it just seems like they really didn't care when they jacked up the price.

How about banks. Beside the fact that a lot of them have failed, interest paid on regular savings accounts went from about 4% to well under 1%. Not only are they using your money to get more interest, they are now paying you much less. And overdraft fees are almost $35 per incident. Check caching fees. Monthly online bill pay charges. A extra fee for going over the number of transactions you have on your accounts. It's just insane. Again, the double whammy with a lot of the banks was that they lost their shirts on the mortgage side of things, and now are taking it out on the regular customers. Hey, I never had a mortgage with your bank, why come after my money to pay for your short-sighted mistakes.

Credit card companies, like the banks, are looking for every penny they can get. The APR percentages are rising and not only quickly, but at almost double-digit rates. Take Capital One. I've enjoyed a nice 9% APR on my purchases. Not too bad. But starting in April, that goes up to 17.4% - more than an 8% jump. So what did I do to deserve that - miss a payment? Nope. Not a single payment missed in the 6 years I've had this card. Is that anyway to treat a person who's been ever so loyal to you, paid your bill on time and has already given you more interest than I wanted to pay? I don't think so. And my other cards are doing the same thing. Taking on an extra 4% and 5% to my previously-enjoyable low APR rates. Guess I need to rethink carrying any balances.

So where does all this stop? Who knows. I just listed three common industries that seem to not care about their customers. There are multitudes of companies out there that have adopted this raping of the masses. They are only interested in gouging each every nickel they can.

And the sad thing is that it may not even help their bottom line. Layoffs and cutbacks are still going to happen. These guys are bleeding billions.

All I can say is that they need to watch what they do and who they are "doing". The day may soon arrive when their customers are doing better and don't need the services of their high interest rates and carrying balances from month-to-month. And when that day hits, the pillage practices and the extra buck or two they net from that will come back to haunt them.

It's not too late to turn back. Rescind your rate hikes. Drop the first checked baggage fee. Give your customers an extra percentage of interest on the money they keep in your bank. In due time, you will see more than just increased earnings. You will retain loyal customers. And that's worth more than any extra buck or two you will get today.

Privacy For All

2009-01-29T14:08:00.004-07:00

I started following Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore on Twitter. They are just a handful of famous people that have recently graced the micro-blogging site.

So today, Mr. A-Plus-K gets his camera out and starts complaining about his neighbor's house being worked on at 7:30am. If you know Ashton and his sense of humor, he's mostly joking, but there's something real or serious in most of his responses. Obviously, the paparazzi doesn't get the humor in it all. Even The Huff Post seems to be running with the den of press wolves here.

Plain and simple, if the guy is upset about something, let him be upset. If he's half joking, let him joke. Even if it's a mix of serious and PUNKing around, it's just a homeowner that's letting off some steam.

Sure, in the real world, construction workers start early... way early. Which is one reason why I'm not in construction. And we can't all have the luxury of dictating the time schedule of construction workers. So the part that Ashton is half serious about, he needs to get this. I'm sure he does. I'm just saying.

And while this particular homeowner is an actor who married a famous actress, and any of their actions or moves brings out every photographer out of the wood work, trying to capture every lucrative image they can get to keep them employed in their stalkarazzi position as long as they can, there still should be some sort of time and space respect.

Still, the questions begs: Why the media circus? Why camp outside this guys home?

You want photos of him? Hang out at the awards shows.

You want to see him in his jeans and t-shirt? Camp out at the airport and nicely take a photo without trying to ride up his ass crack while he's pulling his luggage.

Every other time - Stay away. Your hunt for the money shot isn't going to help you do anything except put cash into your wallet.

It's about privacy. Not about how much money one gets for taking the photo.

Now if this is Ashton filming new episodes of PUNK'D, that's cool. And maybe part of this is based on press that Ashton will get. That's fine. But you still have to learn when to back the fuck off.

Why am I writing this, you ask? I don't like all of Ashton's movies. I've not seen all of Demi's movies, either. But this is personal. If someday, I'm popular enough to where people will be hounding me for a photo, I'd want to have some time and space request. Take my photo when I'm on the red carpet, but don't clog the road I live on for some dumb shot of me with a t-shirt and hat on.

Enough is enough. As Ashton said today.... "you all know the truth... shhhhhhhhh"

Ashton's original rant via Qik.com

Ashton's calming rebutal via Qik.com

Red Herring

2009-01-22T14:32:00.014-07:00

red herring

- noun

2. something intended to divert attention from the real problem or matter at hand; a misleading clue

------------------------------------------------------------------------

This term gets used a lot in both politics and financial discussions. Creating something that is simply not true just to divert one's attention from what's important seems to be a good way of simply saying, "I really don't want this to happen"

Case in point. Barack Obama. While 52% of the registered voters that actually voted picked him to be our next president, there was a good amount of people that didn't. At least 40%. And while the Maverick and his Alaskan running mate went back to their respective states, Mr. Obama went to Washington.

Ok. Said and done, he's now our Commander-in-Chief, put aside your differences and let's start moving forward together.

Nope.

These arbitrators of herrings that are red in color decide that there's got to be a way to kick this guy out of office. They tried to keep him out during the election, calling into question the validity of his US citizenship. More on that in a bit.

So during Tuesday's inauguration proceedings, there's a part that takes place at exactly 12 noon. It's the Oath of Office. And it's pretty specific. Certain words have to be said and in a certain order. This is the leader of the free world we are talking about here.

So President-Elect Obama is standing at the podium with Chief Justice Roberts, who is there to conduct the big important business of swearing in a new president. It's a couple of minutes past 12 noon. It's cold out. And I'm sure there's a lot of nerves in jumbles. This is a big moment and a big deal.

Roberts starts out, Obama starts to repeat after him and jumps ahead. Roberts gets distracted and there's a few words that are not repeated in the proper order.

Not a problem. They correct themselves, get back on track and finish the Oath proceedings. It's now official, we have a new president.

But wait.

That's right. The lovers of all herrings red speak out.

"He's not really president... they didn't stay it right."

"It was said a few minutes past 12 noon. It's not official."

"The words were not spoken in the correct order.... Obama needs to step down"

Wha? Huh? Are you serious?

Last year, around mid-August, the red herring detractors came out of the woodwork. They were questioning Obama's citizenship credentials. In summary, they were doing their best to invalidate his qualifications for being president due to his birth certificate being a fake.

They spent endless amounts of time, energy, blog posts, Google searches and Photoshop editing making sure that they were right. It was their goal to make sure Barack Obama was not going to "go against the Constitution" and to never take office, let alone even get a chance to be on the ballot on November 4th.

"It's a fake, the lettering is not right."

"He never lived in Hawaii"

"His father wasn't a naturalized citizen"

"His mother left the country after he was born"

And there were many other detailed and outlandish reasons why Obama shouldn't be eligible to be president. Some even went as far as to suggest that this was one of the greatest conspiracies to happen to the United States.

Yep, 46 years in the making, before Barack Hussein Obama was born, there were some that plotted this out, carefully making alterations to his birth certificate. Secretly throwing out valid documents. Changing the laws so that every person with a red herring mission couldn't order a copy of the birth certificate. Making sure that one day, in 2008, Barack could become a candidate for president, and making history.

Give me a fucking break.

Let's get this straight, people.

There was no conspiracy.

There are no faked birth certificates, except for the hundreds stored on the blogs and hard drives of red herring mongers.

Regardless of the location of his parents after his birth, Barack Obama's eligibility for the office of president met each and every requirement.

Enough, people.

Read this link if you are still clinging onto this utter and complete bullshit:

Obama's birth certificate: Final chapter

Just Stop

And so it continues today with "Flubbergate". Which, by the way, was properly repeated on the first day in office. Crisis avoided.

But don't worry. There will be further red herrings drummed up in order to find a way to remove President Obama from office. Which is simply another way of distracting from the real goal, and that is unity. Removing divides and walls and coming together for the common good of everyone. Putting aside partisan politics and trying to solve current problems instead of creating new ones.

So please, I beg of you. Stop with these red herrings. Get over your selfish nature and put aside whatever it is that bothers you that there's no Ultra Conservative Right-Wing President in office. We have someone who has the chance - and wants the chance - to make this country a better place to live. Let him at least try to make good on his campaign promises for the next 48 months before you start finding ways to run him out of town.

Thank you. The world is watching.

Criticism

2009-01-09T17:56:00.003-07:00

Since when did a criticism affect me so much?

Later this afternoon, I posted a response to an article I read on the web. I'm not sure what my point was, but what came out wasn't exactly countering any point in the article. Someone I respect read my response and called me out on the point I made, which was a correction.

For some reason, I became more defensive than I should have. After all, I really should have read more of my response before posting it. In hindsight (what a common phrase that gets used a lot today), I see where I missed the point and now know what I should have wrote. A bit too late for that, buddy.

Regardless, what came out of this is the fact that person that was nicely trying to point out something to me came across as a heavy dose of criticism.

Back in the day, I used to be able to take a lot. I mean, hell... I went through a divorce where regular trashing of me and what I stood for was a regular expectation. I've worked at companies where dealing with the shit that came down on a daily basis was something I could easily handle. I've been through a lot and have handled it. This part of me now... who is this person? Have I just been dealt with so much lately that this was the final bit of criticism that I could handle before losing it? I certainly hope not.

I think most of this comes from the fact that I let way too much get in the way of doing what I want to do. I don't have that control of life like I feel I should. It's that point of wanting something that I feel I should have.

It's all a process of living life and as I normally do, I tackle the self-analysis side of a situation like this and make improvements where needed. It's the one part that does take that criticism and turn it into a positive.

"Hey, can I ask you a computer question?"

2008-12-18T16:59:00.002-07:00

It never fails.

I get a call from someone, friend or family.

"Hey... how are you? Do you have a minute... I have this computer issue..."

Ok, I know I've been in the IT industry for over 23 years now. I do know some things. And there's some things I'm willing to help with.

But....

What.The.Fuck.

When you see my name or think of me, is it about asking me why something broke on your computer? I hope not, but it sure seems that way.

I don't hear from some of you for weeks and months, then out of the blue, my caller ID shows you calling me.

It would be nice if you wanted to get together and catch up, have a drink or two and talk about anything other than computer issues.

I deal with computer issues all day at work. There's a really good chance that I don't want to deal with them outside of work. Especially when it comes to Windows issues.

As a Mac guy in my personal life, I'll help people switch from Windows to the Mac. I don't mind that and I'll even spend a bit of time helping here and there. But that also doesn't mean I'm the Mac expert and can bail your ass out each and every time.

I get that you are not an expert either. Which is why you are calling me for help. But are you seriously telling me that you do not know anyone else that's good with computers that can help? Am I the only game in town? I seriously doubt that.

I got to thinking about this and came up with this answer: it's because I always say "YES" to people. I'm the one that's not going to chew your ass out for calling me only when you can't figure your shit out. I'm too nice. I'm convinced that's the problem.

Now, this doesn't mean I don't want to help. Not at all. What I'm saying is that I don't want to be your sole connection to getting your computer back up and running. That's all.

And there needs to be some give and take here. Take... take... take... take... take... that burns someone out pretty damn quick. I'm not expecting money or gifts, although I don't *mind* them [wink]. I do like a thank you, but if there's not a single ounce of sincerety in those two words, then don't say it. It means nothing. It's nothing more than you trying to be nice and expecting me to be cheerful and friendly each time you call wanting me to fix your busted computer.

So what I'm saying here is:

- I will help you, but don't abuse it. Stop calling me everytime you have a problem and you don't care to talk about anything else
- If you are switching to a Mac, then I'll do what I can, but I have a life and want to spend it using my own Mac
- If you are really a good family member or friend and we connect on a level outside of the computer world, then let's make it so that every so often, you call me WITHOUT any computer issues.

Deal?

It is the holiday season, so I may put off my Scrooge attitude and help regardless, but after January, if you are calling my ass for more help, I may not be readily available. That means find someone else to help if you really need free tech support because I'm something my time and energy enjoying the new year.